You ever had a total stranger tell you their life story? It happens to me a lot. Most recently, at Walmart in the men's underwear aisle. There I was, by myself, looking for underwear for my growing son, and along comes a gentleman in his late 50's. He decides to give me advice on what kind of underwear my son might find comfortable. Now, I didn't ask for advice, nor did I start the conversation. He seemed genuine so I just let him speak and I listened. The conversation went from underwear, to learning he's originally from the east coast, to where he met his wife, to how he got into his profession (contractor), to the meaning of the tattoos on his body, to his relationship with his siblings. This conversation lasted about 45 minutes with us still standing in the men's underwear aisle.
This happens to me all the time. I'm not sure why people feel the need to tell me their life story. Most of these people end up telling me at the end, "I don't know why I just told you all of that." But I don't mind. I listen because maybe they don't have anyone else to talk to. I listen because maybe it's part of their healing process and they just need to tell their life story to a random stranger.
Maybe one day I'll understand why total strangers like to tell me their life stories. But until then, I'll just keep listening with compassion and understanding.
Oh Tiffany, you are such a kind person! I might do the same way like what you have done with him. But I don't think I will stand there for 45 mins. I think you are right, sometimes people just want to talk since he might lost his wife already. Then he feels very lonely. At least you warmed his heart I can tell.
ReplyDeleteVery nice of you to give him your ear, time, and compassion :-)
ReplyDeleteMaybe you have a warm and safe demeanor that invites strangers to open up ^_^
I take people tell you all the time that your a great listener. I've been told the same thing but maybe because I work the bar scene and people need to tell me there story. Like in one of my blogs and this blog "we all have a story".
ReplyDeleteI agree with Rui, you are a very kind person. Sometimes people just want someone to talk to because they might not have anyone that listens to them. Just know that you made a difference in that person's day.
ReplyDelete"I listen because maybe it's part of their healing process and they just need to tell their life story to a random stranger." That personally touched me because now that I think about it, healing takes place in many ways because everyone is different. I like to think I'm a compassionate listener as well, but nowhere near to the energetic level of connecting to strangers. What a very unique experience for you to share!
ReplyDeleteTiffany, you are an amazing person. It happens to me all the time too. In the car, (my passengers), at stores, while I'm hiking, walking or anything that I do, someone always starts talking to me for no reason. I listen because it's what I do. Actually it happens to many people. I wonder if there's an invisible halo over our heads or some kind of appearance that random people are just attracted to us. Either way, I am happy that I can make someone else feel heard.
ReplyDeleteYes, this has totally happened. I use to work at a call center and I would get these kind of people a lot. They were usually elderly too. I did the same as you, listened.
ReplyDeleteListening is the key to opening doors, but in this case the door was left open for 45 minutes. I would have kindly excused myself from the conversation so that the gentleman would no feel awkward. I practice to listen first, the I can find verbal cues of when to move forward. Time is an important thing to mange and other have more time than others.
ReplyDeleteI often have elderly passengers on the bus want to strike a conversation about their long storied life while they are traveling to their next destination in Las Vegas. It's always been a fun listen every time it happens.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe I have ever had that moment, Tiffany this is just an other sign that you are a kind spirit.
ReplyDeleteHe apparently felt comfortable talking with you. The time you took to listen allowed him to say what he needed to say. Great job of listening.
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